he said she said
he said she said a blog by Rose Richey.
HE SAID, SHE SAID
As both a Mistress and erotic massage practitioner, I see only too often a substantive proportion of our adult community in less than idyllic relationships, particularly men as they get older. When I learned about sexology from my esteemed mentor, Aleena Aspley, the fact that women lose interest in sex far earlier than their husbands seems pretty commonplace. About 90% of the men I see tell the same story.
But it’s logical when you think about it. It’s how we were designed – evolution. Survival of the fittest. A man’s genitals are being constantly stimulated by rubbing on their clothing, whereas a woman’s jewels are pretty well hidden, making their mystique even more alluring to men.
It also makes perfect sense when a women is nearing the end of her child-bearing years, and her eggs are down to their last, that she would lose interest in sex. Coupled with the transition of hormone production from the ovaries to the adrenals, this doesn’t bode well for most women’s libidos.
This wonderful decade of transition (yes, peri-menopause and menopause add up to about ten years of hormonal upheaval) leaves most women with issues like weight and mood fluctuations, loss of libido, insomnia, hot flushes, vaginal dryness, the list goes on. Naturally only the most determined women still want to experience intimacy on a regular basis, but they are definitively a minority, in my experience.
Of course, men can father children well into their autumn years, still running on testosterone, the hormone responsible for vitality and virile determination. But, despite their many exertions, men don’t always get what they want in the bedroom, and eventually give up trying as they tire of being rejected. And what woman doesn’t see an act of gentleness as a prelude to sex, in most instances, especially when efforts to please or appreciate her have typically proven scant and/or single-minded.
But don’t worry, men’s virility comes under fire from stressful health and social conditioning, often way sooner than “male menopause”.
Let’s look into some of the reasons why this is so. This may not stop what has become a social norm, but perhaps a look at the other side might make you think about your “other half” in a different light.
he said she said
WHY MEN ARE INTERESTED IN SEX LONGER THAN WOMEN
It is not entirely accurate to say that men are interested in sex for much longer than women, as sexual desire and interest can vary greatly from person to person regardless of gender. However, from my standpoint, there are common factors that may contribute to this perception, which include:
Hormonal differences: Testosterone is a hormone that plays a significant role in male sexual desire, and men tend to have higher levels of testosterone than women. However, it’s important to note that not all men have the same level of testosterone, and there are many other factors that can influence sexual desire.
Social and cultural norms: In many cultures, men are often expected to be more sexually aggressive and have a greater interest in sex than women. This can create a perception that men are more interested in sex, even if it is not the case.
Differences in sexual response: Men and women may experience sexual arousal and response differently. Men often experience more physical and visible signs of arousal, such as erections, while women may experience more subtle physical sensations or changes.
Personal preferences and experiences: Sexual desire is complex and influenced by a variety of factors, including personal preferences and experiences. Some men may have a greater interest in sex than some women, and vice versa.
WHY WOMEN REJECT THEIR PARTNERS’ SEXUAL ADVANCES
There can be many reasons why a woman (of any age) may reject her husband’s sexual advances, and it’s important to remember that each individual and relationship is unique. Here are some common reasons:
Lack of physical or emotional attraction: A woman may not feel physically or emotionally attracted to her partner at a particular moment or in general, which can make sexual intimacy less appealing.
Stress and fatigue: Stress and fatigue can have a significant impact on sexual desire and may cause a woman to feel too tired or overwhelmed for sexual activity.
Relationship issues: Problems in the relationship, such as unresolved conflicts or lack of emotional connection, can make a woman feel less interested in sexual intimacy.
Hormonal changes: Hormonal changes, such as during pregnancy or menopause, can affect a woman’s sexual desire and make sexual activity less appealing.
Physical discomfort or pain: Physical discomfort or pain during sexual activity can make a woman reluctant to engage in sexual activity.
WHAT PREVENTS A WOMAN FROM EXPERIENCING ORGASM
There are a variety of factors that can prevent a woman from experiencing orgasm, including:
Previous negative experiences: Previous negative experiences with sexual activity, such as sexual abuse or trauma, can make a woman feel anxious or uncomfortable about engaging in sexual activity.
Lack of knowledge about sexual response: Many women may not understand their own sexual response or may not know what types of stimulation they need to experience orgasm.
Anxiety and stress: Stress and anxiety can interfere with sexual arousal and may make it difficult for a woman to relax and focus on the physical sensations of sexual activity.
Lack of sexual stimulation: Women may require more intense or specific types of sexual stimulation than men to achieve orgasm, and their partners may not be providing enough or the right type of stimulation.
Medical conditions: Certain medical conditions, such as diabetes, multiple sclerosis, pelvic or childbirth injuries, can interfere with sexual response and orgasm.
Medications: Certain medications, such as antidepressants, can interfere with sexual response and make it more difficult for a woman to experience orgasm.
Hormonal imbalances: Hormonal imbalances, such as those that occur during menopause or after childbirth, can affect sexual response and make it more difficult for a woman to experience orgasm.
It’s important for women to communicate openly with their partners and healthcare providers about any concerns they have regarding their sexual response and to explore different techniques and methods of sexual stimulation to find what works best for them. Seeking the help of a sex therapist or counselor can also be helpful in addressing any underlying psychological or emotional issues that may be contributing to difficulty achieving orgasm.
he said she said
WHY MEN SEEK INTIMATE RELAXATION
Here are some common reasons why men with partners may seek erotic massage:
Exploration and experimentation: Men may seek erotic massage as a way to explore their sexuality or experiment with new experiences in a safe and consensual setting.
Variety and novelty: Men may seek erotic massage to add variety and novelty to their sexual experiences with their partner.
Physical pleasure: Erotic massage can provide men with physical pleasure and heightened sensations that they may not experience during regular sexual activity with their partner. Men often consider this a “guilt-free” option for relief rather than having sexual intercourse with an escort, for example.
Stress relief: Like any form of massage, erotic massage can help men relieve stress and tension, both physical and emotional.
Sexual dysfunction: Some men may seek erotic massage as a way to address issues related to sexual dysfunction, such as premature ejaculation or erectile dysfunction.
Fear of rejection: Men may choose to have erotic massage if they fear rejection from their partner, or if they feel that their partner is not interested in engaging in sexual activity.
Sexual incompatibility: Some men may feel that they are not sexually compatible with their partner, and may seek out erotic massage as a way to meet their sexual needs.
Privacy and discretion: Men may choose to have erotic massage because it allows them to keep their sexual activities private and separate from their personal relationships.
It is important to note that seeking out erotic massage is a personal decision and should always be done in a safe and consensual manner. Communication with one’s partner about sexual desires and needs is also important for maintaining a healthy and fulfilling sexual relationship.
This is Fred and Joan – your average couple who raised nice kids, see their grandkids regularly, travel often and have absolutely nothing else in common but their unhealthy preoccupation with mobile devices. They rarely talk to each other or spend quality time alone. That fell by the wayside when Joan decided Fred’s snoring was too loud and moved into a separate bedroom.
Naturally, Fred is one of my clients and has been for a long time. I’ve encouraged Fred over the years to try to reconnect with Joan, but he tells me if he tried anything new she would instantly suspect him of infidelity. He admits they never really had a good sex life, Joan was never an affectionate person and she was totally closed off to any exploration. His generation is one that believes in marriage for life, happy or not.
Everyone has choices. To do nothing is still a choice.
So now you have an idea of what to do, are you prepared to don the tool belts and get stuck into resurrecting your relationship?
Yes, it’s going to be hard work, make no mistake, because the first thing you both need to do is put down the mobile phones and actually talk candidly and openly with each other. You are partners after all, so it’s only the next logical step that you get back on the same page and stop taking each other for granted.
You’ve invested way too many years in your relationship, no matter how it’s shaped up, but don’t fool yourselves into thinking it will be easy to get back on track. When you’ve allowed (consciously or by default) so many distractions to let you drift apart, by natural attrition, it’s going to take some effort to reconnect.
When I see people, I often make suggestions on how to improve their intimacy, but of course, it’s difficult to take home what you’ve learned and start practicing on an unsuspecting partner, particularly if said partner is the reason you came to see me in the first place.
My idyll is to see couples and teach them tantalizing ways to up the ante in the bedroom, which then flows onto greater love and deepened appreciation for each other. But if you’re not at that point, or you think doing an erotic couples session is a synonym for a “threesome”, here’s a few ways around it, sexually speaking.
he said she said
HOW TO IMPROVE ORGASMS – LADIES FIRST
There are several ways a woman can improve her orgasms:
Explore her body: A woman should take the time to explore her body and figure out what feels good. This can include touching herself in different ways, experimenting with different types of stimulation, and finding the spots that feel most sensitive.
Communicate with her partner: Communication is key in any sexual relationship. A woman should talk openly with her partner about what she likes and what feels good.
This can help her partner understand how to please her and increase the chances of having more satisfying orgasms.
Focus on relaxation and arousal: A woman should focus on relaxation and arousal during sex. This can include taking deep breaths, focusing on the sensations in her body, and using erotic fantasies to increase her arousal.
Try different positions: Different sexual positions can stimulate different parts of the body and lead to more intense orgasms. A woman can experiment with different positions to find what works best for her.
Use sex toys: Sex toys can provide additional stimulation and help a woman achieve orgasm more easily. A woman can experiment with different types of toys to find what feels best for her.
Kegel exercises: Kegel exercises can strengthen the pelvic floor muscles, which can lead to stronger and more intense orgasms. A woman can do kegel exercises by contracting and relaxing the muscles that control urine flow.
he said she said
HOW MEN CAN IMPROVE SEXUAL FUNCTION
There are several ways that a man can improve his sexual function. Here are some suggestions:
Regular exercise: Regular exercise can improve blood flow and help maintain a healthy weight, which can improve sexual function.
Healthy diet: A balanced and healthy diet can help maintain a healthy weight and provide the necessary nutrients for good sexual function.
Stress management: Stress can negatively impact sexual function, so it’s important to manage stress through activities such as meditation, yoga, or therapy.
Kegel exercises: Kegel exercises can help improve the strength of the pelvic floor muscles, which can improve erections and ejaculation control.
Quit smoking and reduce alcohol consumption: Smoking and excessive alcohol consumption can have negative effects on sexual function.
Get enough sleep: Lack of sleep can negatively impact sexual function, so it’s important to get enough restful sleep each night.
Communicate with your partner: Good communication with your partner about your sexual needs and desires can lead to a better sexual experience for both partners.
Consider seeing a doctor: If you’re experiencing ongoing issues with sexual function, it’s important to speak with a doctor or healthcare provider who can assess and treat any underlying medical conditions.
he said she said
THE BENEFITS OF YONI AWAKENING FOR WOMEN
The benefits of seeing an experienced Yoni practitioner include:
Improved sexual health: Yoni practitioners can help women address issues such as pain during sex, low libido, and difficulty achieving orgasm.
Increased sexual pleasure: Practitioners can help women learn more about their bodies and how to achieve greater pleasure during sex.
Emotional healing: Yoni work can help women release emotional trauma and negative beliefs that may be impacting their sexual experiences.
Improved overall well-being: Yoni work can help women connect more deeply with their bodies, improve their confidence and self-esteem, and reduce stress and anxiety.
Better relationships: Women who have experienced healing and growth through Yoni work may find that their intimate relationships are more fulfilling and satisfying.
WHY SEE ME?
Yes, it’s true – I can teach you how to tap into your real sexual potential in a matter of hours. This alone can save you months on your journey to reconnect with yourself and your partner.
Discover how to enhance your intimacy and deepen your connection with my tailored approach.
Recognizing each person and relationship is unique, I rely on intuition and never apply a “one-size-fits-all” method with my clients.
As a professional Mistress in the BDSM lifestyle since 2009, I bring a wealth of experience to our sessions, about sensation, trust and communication.
My previous career as a registered nurse equipped me with the skills to establish a professional and trustworthy rapport with my clients from an early stage in my adult life.
With my expertise as a Mistress, I create a safe and consensual environment where we can explore sensations in a present and focused manner.
That amazing union can be yours – it’s not gone, it’s just waiting in the wings for life to slow down enough for you to relish each other again.
I hope you’ve enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it. If you’d like to know more about my services, please feel free to reach out.
0499 978 955